Think pink
How rosy hues have become a symbol for reclaiming my identity
We’re all familiar with the sweet, perhaps slightly saccharine idea of “getting your pink back”. The concept has been borrowed from flamingo mothers, who turn a pale, almost translucent shade of white when they have their offspring, returning slowly to their original pink shade as their babies grow up. Applied to human mothers it’s become a popular, affirming metaphor for post-partum mums reclaiming their identity, energy and passion for life after the depletion of early parenthood. The idea is that through small, intentional acts of self-care and reconnecting with hobbies that bring you joy, you are able to find yourself again after getting lost in the mire of motherhood.
I don’t dislike the idea as a whole. I do take issue with the inevitable commercialisation that’s happened in recent years, which places enormous pressure on women to financially invest in reclaiming their identity, when there is not enough money in the world to buy back your identity - it takes a lot of investment, yes, but of time, energy and love towards your self (Claire Seal wrote a brilliant piece about this for Stylist). Money worries aside, I like the intention, but I never particularly bought into it. At least, not consciously.
In today’s lunch writing session (hosted by Stevie Mackenzie-Smith - if you’re a writer and you want to consciously carve out time to do so, join!), she shared the prompt to look back at our phone photo rolls and notes and identify the common threads and themes in the things we choose to photograph, or jot down. As I scrolled through my photos, trying hard not to let my Virgo/ADHD tendencies distract me into deleting irrelevant screenshots and umpteen photos of my dog and/or daughter, I began to see a very clear pattern emerging. Pink was scattered like colourful confetti across my screen, in the form of clothing, coffee mugs, and manicures.
Now, I’m not someone who would call themselves a ‘girly-girl’; not least of all because I believe gendering a colour to be ludicrous, and the term also connotes an infantile, vapid type of person, which is a wild generalisation based on what colour clothing you wear - I blame Barbie. As an elder emo, my identity is tied up pretty tightly with the colour black, in all it’s glorious forms (yes, there is definitely more than one shade of black, don’t argue with me on that), with leopard print being the main reprieve. I admit to a serious case of wardrobe malfunction before and after giving birth; particularly in the post-partum period, when I got it into my head that I could no longer dress how I really wanted to, and instead had to lean into one of the mum aesthetics of either dopamine dressing or the leggings, trainers and long puffer coat vibe. Thankfully I got over that moment of madness and have sold or donated the array of ill-fitting, ill-conceived additions that made their way into my wardrobe over the last couple of years. But what has kept a firm chokehold over me is the colour pink.
It’s the colour of a knitted vest I always reach for when I can’t think what to wear, the statement winter coat that immediately lifts my mood, no matter how grey the day, and my favourite coffee mug (gifted to me by a very good friend) is a vibrant, neon shade that brings a smile to my face every time I raise it to my lips. For one of my best friend’s weddings I wore a ridiculous, pink, taffeta number which made me feel SO joyful. Pops of pink appear frequently in my regular manicures. Without realising it, I seem to have taken the sentimental statement pretty literally.
Enter: deep dive into colour psychology.
According to Color Pyschology, pink conveys warmth, empathy, and creative thinking:
“Pink has many positive associations. It is a calming, non-threatening color. It is linked to innocence, hope, and optimism. It also represents positive aspects of traditional femininity like nurture and kindness.”
However, on the flipside, it also has some negative connotations, particularly in Western culture:
“Its negative side is that it can seem weak, vulnerable, and silly. It is also linked to shallowness and not seeing reality.
Who doesn’t want a break from reality sometimes though right?
Likewise, I don’t think I’m adverse to appearing a bit silly. There’s a time and a place for seriousness, granted, but on the whole, silliness can get us through some of life’s toughest times; of which there feel like there are a lot of right now. And if someone perceives be to be weak or vulnerable because I’m wearing a pink jumper, they’ll be in for the surprise of their life when I prove I am anything but.
For me, introducing colour - specifically pink - into my life has been more than just an aesthetic choice. It’s an external reflection of the exuberance and joy I feel on the outside, after a few years of struggling to find either of those things. Losing myself to motherhood wasn’t wholly unexpected, but what did shock me was how long it took me to even start to discover myself again. It took time for me to have the time, energy or headspace to indulge in the things and I loved, and even longer to actually enjoy them and not consider them just another thing to add to the to-do list. It also shone an unwelcome light on some elements of myself I’d kept hidden in the shadows, including an already shaky sense of self which I’d spent years twisting and moulding to fit myriad shapes. That’s one of the benefits of losing yourself completely; you are forced to take a long, hard look at yourself and really consider the elements and traits you want to include as you begin to reconstruct your identity, as well as those you want to ditch. For now at least, the pink is firmly in the first camp.
Generally, pink symbolises:
Femininity
Healing
Innocence
Peace
Playfulness
Romance
Sweetness
Tranquility
Warmth
The specific shade of pink can affect associations and meanings. A light pink is often viewed as soft, healing, and peaceful, whereas a hot pink might be seen as bold, exciting, and alarming.
Taken from The Color Psychology of Pink
I didn’t know this came from flamingos, that’s my lesson of the day! Also loved this, thank you for sharing. I had a phase when I was 4 that’s famous in my family for only wearing pink (and only eating bread?)