Could communal living be the key to happier parents?
Parenting - the period during which you can feel lonelier than you ever have, while never actually being alone. A 2018 study by the British Red Cross found that 43% of mothers under 30 are lonely “often” or “always”, with more than 80% saying they see their friends less after having a child. As a 33 year-old, I’m certain the stats aren’t dissimilar for my age bracket either.
This can be attributed to a number of different factors: feeling alienated from existing friendships who aren’t at the same life stage as you, moving into the suburbs or another part of the country to a more family-friendly location, or simply not having the time to socialise without your child. And, unsurprisingly, this leads to a decrease in happiness. An eight-decade study from Harvard University found that people who have safe, emotionally connected friendships live longer and report greater life satisfaction.
So what’s the solution?
According to some people, the answer is communal living.
This article in The Guardian delves into life at co-living community Radish, situated in Oakland, California. When it was initially founded five years ago none of the members had children, but now that they do, childcare is very much a shared responsibility among members. Parents support each other, providing a free, trusted childcare option within the comfort of their own home. Sounds dreamy, right?
Or is it a teensy bit culty?
It’s hard to envisage this type of community without picturing hippie-types bedecked in bells and flowers, dancing around a back-to-basics ranch-style house, while an enigmatic but slightly sinister leader dishes out orders (and Kool-Aid). But, true crime bias aside, the benefits of co-living, particularly intergenerational, are proven, and is still common practice in Non-Western families.
With house prices continuing to rise and the cozzie livs still going strong, maybe it’s not just a way to tackle feeling of loneliness, maybe it makes financial sense too. Childcare in the UK is EXTORTIONATE (like, I literally cannot afford to commute into the office more than once a week because all of my precious pennies are being spent on nursery fees), so the idea of being able to cut costs in some way does sound pretty appealing.
My best friends and I joke about it often - with one of us living in Essex, another in London, another in Southampton and another in Chippenham, our support system is very much virtual. Imagining a reality where that was IRL makes me want to start house hunting for eight-bed manor houses in the countryside somewhere.
While I won’t be scouring the Rightmove app just yet, it does bear thinking about. Maybe these modern-day Manson types have the right idea…
Good shit
TV - I would be remiss not to mention The Traitors here. The finale was ludicrous; I think the whole nation was probably furiously biting into the sofa foam as they watched sweet simpleton Mollie seal her own penniless fate by letting her not at all obvious crush on Harry blind her to his masterful game-playing. Well played sir, well played.
Skin - I got a couple of REN Skincare bits for Christmas, having seen lots of excellent reviews about their products. I’ve been dabbling with some pieces in the Glow range and I am OBSESSED with the Glycol Lactic Radiance Renewal Mask. After slathering it on my face, which left me with a shiny orange visage worthy of any Love Island contestant, I left it to do its thing while I had a bath. When I rinsed it off I was left with the more glorious, soft and plump skin - it felt like I’d injected my face with marshmallow fluff. 10/10 recommend.
Jewellery - I discovered Holly Hocks whimsical and outrageous designs in Twisted Treats and now I. Can’t. Stop. Buying. Earrings. My latest purchase is from her newest range - Cowgirl - and I know I’m going to be wearing them to death, especially at the Country gigs I’ve got lined up this year.
Why wouldn’t you want a pair of shiny, snazzy cowboy boots dangling in your ears?!
Stripey delights
Dear leopard print,
I’m sorry, but I’ve been unfaithful.
There’s a new print in my wardrobe that is taking over my outfits. I’ll always love you, but I’ve been craving something new. I’ve been seeing…stripes.
I’m very aware that stripes are not a new sartorial choice; far from it, in fact. They are the staple of every capsule wardrobe collection, the epitome of French chic. Not sure what to wear? Throw a Breton top on with a pair of Mom jeans and some gold hoops and you look like you’ve walked straight out of a Pinterest board.
Here are some stripey items I’ve added to my collection as of late:
[From L-R: Oversized rib-knit cardigan, H&M, £17 (currently on sale!); Jumper, H&M, £12.99; Pure cotton striped collar shirt, M&S, £25]