Let people be more than one thing
Why 2024 should be the year we embrace that we are all multi-faceted beings
As a millennial, much of my adolescent identity was formed on the basis of belonging to certain affinity groups (see emo). Which school you went to, what bands you listened to, hell - even whether you wore Vans or Converse all contributed towards signally to the rest of the world that this is who you were; these are the groups to which you belong. At the time it felt great to have a strong sense of belonging, and of knowing who my “people” were simply be checking out their profile song on Myspace. But it also meant that when those sub-cultures started to lose their power, or I shifted away from them, I struggled to figure out who I was, or what I liked. Similarly, straddling more than one of these groups felt like heresy - you couldn’t be Indie and Nu-Rave - you had to choose a side. Because we all like to be able to label people and place them into a neat and tidy box - it helps us to manage our relationships and feel at ease with our place within friendship groups, workplaces and other social situations.
Fast forward a few years and after trying on lots of different identities, I got to my late twenties/early thirties and finally felt settled in who I was. I no longer defined myself by a group as such, I was just a young(ish) person, working in publishing and social media, who loved reading and was interested in feminism, mental health and a plethora of other things. And that was great, for a while. But then, post-COVID and since becoming a mother, I’ve felt the familiar itch of not feeling quite comfortable with who I am. Like a snake ready to shed it’s skin, I’ve been wriggling around, bumping up against different causes and groups, trying to unveil the new version of myself. And I’ve realised that it isn’t easily definable. I can’t summarise it in an Instagram bio, or pitch myself in 30 seconds. That makes it really hard to answer the question “What do you do?”. What’s also hard about that question is the fact that I don’t define myself by my job, or the fact that I’m a parent, but that’s what most people are expecting to hear when they ask you that question. They want to be able to figure you out and define you by your response; it makes the whole awkward social dance of getting to know someone easier. But easy and honest are two different things in this context; and while it might confuse people or stall the conversation rather abruptly, I’m much prefer to be able to say that what I do is many things, rather than lump myself into one box.
Multi-hyphenate isn’t a new term any more - it’s been around long enough for society to acknowledge and accept that a lot of people nowadays have more than one string to their bow. In fact, they might not even have a bow - they may have tossed the damn bow out the window in favour of a more modern and effective weapon. We’re no longer expected or allowed to be good at just one thing. Side hustle culture has exploded since 2020, giving rise to a new generation of people who openly promote the fact that they have their fingers in a whole heap of different pies.
So let’s accept - encourage, even - the fact that people are layered, nuanced creatures with passions and interests that ebb and flow over time. Let’s not get irritated when our favourite book blogger takes a step back from the ol’ bookstagram and focuses more on fashion instead. We’ve all got to life our lives unapologetically for ourselves, not for our friends or followers. Change is part of the human condition; it’s an inevitable and, frankly, necessary part of life, needed in order to facilitate growth and development [insert aesthetically pleasing quote about how chance doesn’t happen in your comfort zone]. We should all be open to it and less afraid of it, both when it happens to ourselves and the people we follow.
Cancel culture is still running rife across social, with the fear of being shunned by your digital communities preventing many people from being honest online. This includes being able to be open about when we change. And that is bloody sad. People are left feeling trapped in a pigeon-hole of their own creation, unable to be their authentic selves online, in case they see a dramatic drop in followers and a terrifying rise in trolls. Bollocks to that. People who connect with you and what you have to say will stick around regardless of whether you churn out the same content or not. They’re in it for the voice behind the blog posts and brand deals.
So be many things, change your mind, explore new passions and interests - and talk about it as much as you damn well please. I’m making 2024 my year of growth, and with that there’ll be change a’plenty round Casa Shezza. I hope you’ll support me, just as I’ll be cheering you on like the physically awkward, uncoordinated cheerleader I am.